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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
The more you know. Daylight Savings started back in 1964 when Jerry Daylight Savings was an hour late for work & convinced his boss all the clocks were wrong.
You never really know a woman, until she takes you to court.
When people tell me "You`re gonna regret that in the morning"...I sleep in till noon, because I`m a problem solver.
There is really no way of knowing how many chameleons are in the room right now.
There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating pain 3. Stepping on a Lego
I do take my job seriously; To make sure there are no day old donuts at the local coffees shop.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.
Counting to ten when someone pisses you off works much better if you`re counting punches.
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never received any d!ck pics
When the nurse calls my name at the doctor’s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
Some people pass through our lives just to teach us not to be like them.