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Love is like hearing your favorite song for the first time. Then listening to it over and over again till you hate that song.
I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to them.
You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.
On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with `unsubscribe`
When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they`re catching on though.
hate it when someone says they are miserable when their profile picture says otherwise.
and alcohol are now friends.
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
Despite being a pain in the a$$, you have to admit I still bring a lot to the table.
My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell `em: "You`re gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates"..... whatever!!
Facebook account for sale, Friends included...
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house, but that fly is dead.
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?