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Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
I miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like, bitch whatever.
I can`t be trusted with your alphabet magnets.
My favorite iOS7 feature is how it distracts me from the fact that I`m wasting my life poking a glass screen.
Judging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed, I`m assuming it`s Monday.
It’s almost 2015, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.
FACT: How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days.
Ever notice that the first 10 seconds of a medical drug commercial is spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest basically daring you to take it?
My bed and I are in a good relationship, and my alarm clock is so0o jealous...
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.
I just spent ten minutes waving back to a guy in a storefront window before I realized he was just cleaning the glass.
I`ll never fall in love untill and unless love falls on me!
Good For OJ, he gets to take another stab at life..
It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it`s fixed and finally cool, you leave.