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Don’t underestimate my ability to do absolutely nothing.
Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
How to break up with someone: You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: Which one? You: ME. You: BYEEEE
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
If Jesus is the reason for the season.......why is the church parking lot empty and Wal Marts is full?
I guess not everyone at this grocery store is as comfortable with my nudity as I am. ;)
If tit for tat doesn`t mean flashing guys with tattoos, than I`ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
According to my fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week.
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society.
Madonna is 55 her boyfriend is 22. Tina Turner is 75 her boyfriend is 40. JLo is 42 her boyfriend is 26. Still single? Relax. Your boyfriend hasn`t been born yet.
I cant wait to show everyone at work my new cough
You seem to have a good grip on reality. You`re new here, aren`t you?
One man`s LOL is another man`s WTF