Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this" -Guy who invented shovels
Personally, I believe that around 93% of the world`s population should run with scissors.
I don’t understand how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.
Phrases I hope to avoid in my obituary: “skeletal remains,” “dumpster,” “almost beyond recognition,” “dental records” and “shallow grave.”
The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you´re on.
I don`t know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
There`s a sense of great satisfaction when I`m the tie breaker between `Funny` and `Not Funny` status updates.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
If your friends don`t make fun of you, they`re not really your friends.
If you`re really really quiet, you can hear yourself doing the world a favor.
Did you know that DNA actually stands for "National Dislectic Association"
Just once I would like to see a liars pants actually catch on fire
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else...
If you think about it, before the first mirror was invented, if you didn’t live near a body of water, you had no idea what you looked like.
To avoid being eaten by zombies, go to Settings / Home Invasion Settings / Cannibalism / Brains, and then uncheck the "tasty" box.