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"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator, where I couldn`t reach them. Then leave chemicals right under the sink.
I can`t believe it`s been a year since I didn`t become a better person....
If you don`t pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?
If I were the guy who made the Where’s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn’t there.
What happened to all the Sour Patch parents?
I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine
If you`re wondering why you`re single, date someone. You`ll remember
Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
I took a 5hr energy today. they`re right about being able to multitask because it made me puke and poop at the sametime..
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
Dear Social Media, thanks for showing me that I can like people. So long as I don`t have to see, touch, or smell them.