Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The word "Lovers" bums me out unless it`s between the words "Meat" and "Pizza".
The ceiling fan DOES NOT make a good lettuce shredder....
I can`t even tell what this thing in my fridge use to be.
Gonna start a new job tomorow at a archaelogical site, I know I`m gonna dig it.
We always say that our elders are wise, because of their years of experience. But you know what? ... Stupid people get old too.
The grass was greener on the other side, so we smoked it.
Let`s face it. Seeing a camel toe in leopard print tights at Walmart is probably the closest any of us will ever get to going on an African safari.
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, not screaming for their lives like the passengers in the back of his truck
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written “eff off forever” instead of “keep in touch” in your yearbook.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
How many instruments do you have to be terrible at before you start playing the triangle?
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?
Facebook is great, but I still miss the good old days of writing down my random thoughts and sliding them into stranger`s pockets.
I need to put someone on my weekend to-do list