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Turns out that my get rich painfully slow scheme isn`t working out either.
I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
Laundry is like sex in reverse: you drop in a load, everything gets wet, then rolls around and ends up dry and neatly folded.
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
I never owned a telescope, but it`s something that I`m thinking of looking into.
this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don`t know who`s winning
I´m on a whisky diet. I´ve lost three days already!
If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is.
Every time I do laundry I throw one sock in the garbage, because I lose sh*t on my own terms.
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
I`m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
If I were Noah, I’d be grabbing two of every bottle of alcohol
It`s hard to trust people. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.