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Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman`s ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
People reckon I´m too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they´re stupid).
I`m all over that like a fat kid on a Smarty
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
My little brother just told me I looked stoned as hell. Which is a little weird, considering I don`t have a little brother...
The first sign of laziness:
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
There`s no way to gracefully remove a jacket while wearing a seatbelt...
Haters gunna hate,potatoes gunna patate!!
I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.
If there wasn’t such thing as a last minute I’d never get anything done.
Just bent over to pick up a beer that rolled out of the fridge and realized yoga is exhausting
Staring longingly at the door works for my dog, but I tried it at work and no one let me out. :(
I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?