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Meanwhile, Somewhere farther down on your timeline, your aunt just posted the "Footprints" poem on your wall again.
"You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this" -Guy who invented shovels
My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
Whenever I see a hot girl on the streets I`m like HOLY CRAP I`M OUTSIDE.
You will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
My dad says that if I don`t stop typing so loudly, he`s gonna slam my face into the fidbdiUHy6hivIifHfGK
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.
When women say “It’s not what’s on the outside, it’s what’s on the inside that counts”, we all know they are talking about a Man’s wallets.
There’s a police helicopter above my house right now, so I’m cashing in and calling everyone who has ever said “when pigs fly.”
I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
The reason swans mate for life is because they don`t talk.
Running away doesn`t help your problems, unless you`re fat. Then yeah, run away.
He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it`s all screaming and sh!t.