Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do TV shows say "May contain nudity"? It either does or doesn`t. Don`t make me watch the entire thing and find out the hard way it doesn`t....
Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that`s your ghost outfit forever.
I don`t exactly have a "to do" list. I have what you might call "If I ever log off Facebook and feel like getting around to doing it" list.
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won to which I replied, "Yeah, man, you`re free."
Maybe America will believe in global warming if we make it a Snapple Fact.
Don`t be upset that you`re single; be happy that someone isn`t ruining your life.
Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I`ll be just fine.
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...
I just did some calculations and I`ve been able to determine that you`re full of sh!t.
When I say I can cook, I mean I can melt cheese on stuff.
I always ask my waitress to name everything that comes in the salad then I respond “OK perfect, I want a cheeseburger with none of that on it.”