Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Watching a funny movie after watching a scary one too try to reduce the risk of nightmares.
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
so I got really drunk last night, but I was good and took a bus home. the only problem I have now is I dont remember where I put the keys to the bus.
When will vegeterians stop eating my food`s food??
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
I`m glad I know sign language. It`s pretty handy.
I just bought Velcro shoes.... What a rip off!
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”
According to my neighbor`s rooster, it`s 5am now. Also according to my neighbor`s rooster, we`re having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.
Lately, my furnace has run so much I nicknamed it "Forest".
The toughest decision I will make today is bottle or draft.
If you don`t do stupid sh!t while you`re young, you`ll have nothing to talk about later in life while sitting at the bar.
So far I’ve spent most of 2014 flipping off the weather channel.
If I’m ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand.