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It`s nice to know I`m wanted....even if it`s only by the Police!
I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
If you`ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you`ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
You can`t fight Destiny. Because if you try to fight Destiny, then you have to fight the bouncers and the rest of the strippers too...
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?
Men who claim women belong in the kitchen definitely do not know what to do with them in the bedroom!
I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don’t f*cking deserve string cheese.
Are you still bored? Head over to Walmart, take a box of condoms to the checkout clerk, and ask where the fitting room is.