Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If by sexy you mean me licking the donut icing off my fingers then yes I can be damn sexy.
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
slugs are snails that are going through a divorce
I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
Today was about as much fun as a warm toilet seat in a public restroom!
I just saw a guy take a bite of Kit Kat bar without breaking it apart first! Sir, we live in a society with rules, please adhere to them.
If you find a four-leaf clover it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.
I can’t believe that all these “single ladies in my area” want to meet me, must be due to all the “free Ipads” I’ve been winning.
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.
My life is based on a true story
I dont even bother filling out the "From" field on gift tags during xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious.
Bananas are the strippers of the fruit world.
My friend said the only vegetable that could make him cry was an onion. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.