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You can tell how a persons life is going by how they press the crosswalk button.
Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
I`ll take "who the f*ck would know that" for $600, Alex.
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
Is everything expensive or am I just poor?
I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
It`s all fun and games...unless there`s cookies, then it`s serious
The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.
Society: Be yourself. Society: No not like that
We should be thanking our Dads for bringing us into the world, not our Moms. She probably wasn`t in the mood...
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.