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Before you decide to spend less time on social media... make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
Just because they sell yoga pants in XXL doesn`t mean it`s ok to wear them in public.
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
Today is Valentine’s Day or as I call it… Tuesday.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do.
Not having any friends means I`m always the pretty one.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
If anybody out there happens to have my voodoo doll, can u please scratch my balls. I happe to be in a public place at the moment.
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
You mean to tell me people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
Thank God I finally found love! Its on Page 126 in the dictionary.
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-