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is pretty sure there´s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking...And I plan on finding out what that is.
Money may not buy you happiness, but it does buy you all the sh1t you want!
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
I don`t have mistletoe this year, so we`ll just have to kiss under the influence.
During the first two weeks of January, people often resolve to lose weight, which is great for me because the line at Golden Corral is much shorter.
I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS
Writing is a great career when people like hearing what you have to say but don`t want to look at you.
When you "pretend speak" to someone in the background while ordering takeout so that the restaurant doesn`t judge your big order for one.
I got so drunk last night I tried picking up every woman in the bar and now my back is killing me!
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
How come people who think they know everything never seem to know when to shut up?
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.