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At least mosquitos are attracted to me.
Sh!t`s spiraling out of control and I`m all like "wheeeee."
The Easter Bunny doesn`t always drink, but when he does I bet it`s hopscotch.
I dont mind if you call me Crazy, but dont you dare call me stupid. Because to be this crazy some intelligence is definitely required.
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
Don`t do drugs. Become a Pop star and they give `em to you FOR FREE!
NO, I didn`t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
Why are we still testing on animals when there are pedophiles in prison.
Dating a single mother is like pressing continue on some one elses saved game
Damn you auto correct mind your business.
I hate it when I think I`m buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they`re just REGULAR donuts...
Swearing releases stress and that`s just one of the f*cking reasons I do it.
Pro Tip: If you knock on the door to a bathroom stall and someone says "one second," wait more than one second before entering.
On the plus side of 2017, the use of the words `awesomesauce` and `amazeballs` were at an all time low.
Stop undressing me with your eyes!...Use your teeth!