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We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I got up… goodnight!
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so fvck it!
I`m sorry baby, but me & you are not going to work out. We are going to watch tv.
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called " fun size" should really re-evaluate their stanards of entertainment.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
One man’s potato is another man’s vodka.
I`m so lonely that my cat owns a cat.
Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!