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FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it`s a two-star hotel.
I`ve just released my own fragrance...No one on the bus seems to like it though.
slugs are snails that are going through a divorce
"Of course you`re the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
A fun thing to yell at a magic show is "BURN HIM, HE`S A WITCH"
Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I love to punch in the face.
Some days I feel about as useful as the pants in Donald Duck`s closet.
I will pay good money to anyone who can take me from work, make it look like an abduction and tuck me back into bed.
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!