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There`s nothing as wonderful as waking up in the morning next to a gorgeous smiling face. So I keep a mirror next to my bed.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
I think my guardian angel drinks.
I’m late for a disappointment.
The trouble with children is that they´re not returnable.
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
I do my best proofreading after I hit send.
Dear Car driving 40mph on the highway this morning. It`s only a 1/4“ of snow plus you have a "Jesus Fish" on your bumper. You`ll be just fine.
facebooked yo mama!!!
When I was younger my dad showed me pictures of why to wear condoms during sex. The funny thing is, they were all pictures of me.
If you reach your hand into a woman`s purse, it crosses into a parallel universe containing everything but the one thing you`re looking for.
We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can’t come, let me know.
The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile.