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Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they`re trying on clothes in the fitting room.
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
My internet goes out more than I do.
I`m glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.
If I have to stir it, it’s homemade.
If I look tired at the end of the day, it`s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
I would like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something.
Him: What to play Trivial Pursuit? Her: Sure, But I,m not that smart. Him: What to play strip Trivial Pursuit?
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
If I was antisocial I wouldn`t have just ordered a pizza over the phone.
I`m going to stop off at the fabric store before my next status to get some new material!
All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don`t even remember what he did anymore.
Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject