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In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
Some women need to realize that showing cleavage doesn`t fix your face.
The invention of the shovel must have been ground-breaking.
You might be addicted to Facebook if you read my post`s every day...
My wife asked me if I knew her favorite flower was. Apparently "Gold Medal All Purpose" was not the correct response
At work, sometimes I secretly brew decaf coffee in the normal pot so that everyone else works at my pace.
That moment when you wake up at 2 o`clock a.m and remember how crappy that after earth movie was and you go back to sleep immediately
Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders... * How I learned this rule is not important.
I`ll make better mistakes tomorrow.
I`m pretty sure if you watched a movie of my life backwards it probably would be about a guy who refills beer cans and puts them in the fridge.
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
One thing that I have never had in the glove box of my car, is a pair of gloves.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.
24 astronauts were born in Ohio.....What is it about that state that makes people want to flee the Earth?