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If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$
I`m just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
Life is not a garden so quit being a hoe
My worst fear is seeing one of my statuses marked as "exhibit A"
According to the squirrel riding a unicycle in my kitchen, I may have taken too much sleep medication.......
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: "None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."
I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.
Don`t call me names, you don`t know enough words to describe me
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....
After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.
I didn`t come here to make friends. I go to the cat shelter for that.
Wouldn`t ventriloquists be a lot cooler if they could throw their farts?