Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Does this status update make me look fat?
How to know you have a sunburn: Smack the spot. If you scream in pain, its a sunburn
There’s been over 30 billion messages posted on Facebook, and yet most of us have never even talked to our neighbors.
Sometimes when I`m bored, I pick out a girl from my list of FB friends that I`ve never actually met and then go back on her timeline and like every single post she made in like 2009......That should freak her out a bit...
I`d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!
The only instant messaging I enjoy is with my middle finger.
I solve all my problems by creating three new ones as distractions.
I cannot turn water into wine but, I can turn ice cream into breakfast so that’s pretty neat.
Early reports indicate I`m gonna be drunk all weekend.
It`s hard to trust people. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I`ll be just fine.
If you`re not the lead dog, the scenery never changes!
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
Some girls post the most depressing love sh!t that even I`m starting to miss their ex!!!
Facebook Proves: That if Family had the Option... they`d Delete ya.