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The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and a crappy party host.
Saying "I`m offended" is basically telling the world you can`t control your own emotions so everyone else should do it for you.
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
All I ask is that if we arm the teachers, that the librarians get silencers.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day.
Dear Carly Simon, Yes I am so vain that I do think that song is about me.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
Stop picking on Justin Bieber. That`s somebody`s daughter.
uncle Sam can`t be related to me because family wouldn`t do me like this.
I`m starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.