Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you´re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for.
Can`t wait to be full of Christmas beer! I mean cheer. No, I definitely mean beer.
Easter can be just as much fun as an adult as it was as a child. Just paint and hide beer cans instead of eggs.
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
Doctor: How is your headache? Me: She is fine.
I don`t have mistletoe this year, so we`ll just have to kiss under the influence.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old...
I`d like to have a child one day...Two days, tops.
A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
If only I did everything with the same precision in which I craft my sandwiches.
Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
Son, you don`t get anything in life without trying hard and working for it. Now be quiet, there about to announce the lottery results...
Some people you know was dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall and fell out the window.
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.