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Easy baked macaroni and cheese recipe: Boil macaroni in water.... follow the rest of the instructions on box. TADA!
Jesus is coming.... look busy
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.
Don`t just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
No, Iām not funny. Iām just really mean and everyone thinks Iām joking.
There is no number for what just happened in that bathroom.
As an adult, Iām not eating nearly as much ice cream as 10 year old me thought I would.
Don`t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex`s name tattooed.
Every have one of those moments where you look at yourself in the mirror and think "Damn if I weren`t me, I`d totally hit that."
I`ve been married twice. The next wife I have will be someone else`s and she can just go home when she`s mad at me.
The realization that Netflix knows me better than my closest friends....
When we were kids, we didn`t have Pokemon Go. If we wanted to look for things that weren`t there, we would get stoned like normal people.
Few people have the balls to admit when they`re wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls.
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...... *high 5*
Shouldn`t old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?