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I donโt care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it.
When someone tells me how old their kid is in months, I ask them to rephrase it in days, so they know what I just went through.
Talking to you makes me invent new swear words.
if your happy and you know it ---thank your ex
Pretend it`s a beer... Pretend it`s a beer... Pretend it`s a beer... - Me trying not to drop a baby.
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
Warning: I just get weirder.
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
Tip of the day: When the cop asks you if you had anything to drink in the last 24 hours, do NOT ask them for the time... trust me
Any time you feel lonely, remember, its your fault nobody likes you.
Why,does facebook want to make the likes one gets on their status like a story,like:peter and 500 others like this,click and see james and 499 others like this............
Chinese food to go: $16.84. Gas to go get it: $2.62. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.
I thought there was a spider on the rug, but it was just some yarn. Itโs dead yarn now, though.
Hi Iโm an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.