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Breaking News: Tuesdays suck just as much as Mondays.
that awkard moment when someone`s laugh is actually funnier than the joke
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
I had a terrible dream about mufflers and now I`m exhausted.
You`re from my dreams... Or nightmares. I can`t decide which.
Like my therapist always says, "I`m not your therapist, you`re just laying on a couch in Ikea"
I`m as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn.
Thought of the day! Calling me a crazy bitch will only encourage me to prove you right...
I bet there`s a rapper trying to figure out a way to replace his teeth with LED lights
Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.
I hate people who take drugs......like the police.
I have nothing!
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.
What do women want? The opposite of whatever they have.
Home is where the alcohol is.