Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes my neighbors love my music so much that they invite the police to listen.
I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
Hey dude who flipped me off in the Subway parking lot for honking at you, you left your dinner on top of your car.
You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
I don’t just say crazy things on the internet, I do that in real life too.
The best part of time travel will be sleeping until noon and making it to work on time at 8am.
CAMPING TIP: If you get lost in the woods, a compass can help you get lost more North.
Roses are red, this much is true, Violets are purple, not f*cking blue
I`m going to go take a hot shower, it`s like a normal shower but with me in it
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
There should be an observation deck at Walmart.
Whenever you can`t think of anything to say in therapy just go with, "I`ve been thinking about killing you."
I just want you to be happy. And naked.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"