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Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
I hate to admit it, but I’ve got a serious drinking problem. I don’t have any more money to buy liquor.
What about a To-Don`t List?
Someone’s going to ruin things; it might as well be me.
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
Pizza: 73% delicious, 27% also delicious.
I`d imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if I’d like whipped cream on it.
Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” .... I said, “I am.”
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
Save some time and just put your Taco Bell directly in the toilet.
Setting an alarm is how we ruin days that haven`t even started yet.
If it makes you feel better, don’t call it “Premature Ejaculation.” Call it “Speed Dating”
You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.