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First fart at my new job.
Make somebody happy today... mind your own business!!!
Confidence is going after Moby Dick in a row boat ... and taking the tartar sauce with you.
A baby`s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear, Unless it`s 3am. And you don`t have a baby, And you`re home alone.
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
Salary is like a menstrual cycle, it comes once a month and is gone in five days...
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
I was raised on the streets is more manly than saying I grew up watching Sesame Street.
I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.
When I grow up I wanna be a psychiatrist for the mentally insane...so i can find out what the hell is wrong with you people
Yeah I`m married, but get one thing straight,,, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanhjkjhgfd,, THIS IS SCOTT`S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
If I could have a superpower, it would be the ability to watch people workout and then absorb their health benefits...
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.
Those "Speed Enforced by Aircraft" signs don`t understand how eager I am to get pulled over by an F-16.
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.