Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
What is it about paper towels that makes me always want to use more than one?
Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
I`m just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver
Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while waiting.
Don`t you love followers that don`t acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.
Having children is a fantastic source of free labor.
You`re never too old to be spanked ...If you play your cards right.
Things that make women emotional- 1) sad movies 2) love stories 3) anything 4) everything
Facebook Poking Hours: Mon-Friday 7am-10pm Sat 12-11pm Sun Closed
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
Procrastinators Unite!! ... tomorrow.
Looks donβt matter to me if youβre attractive.