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dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed. Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.
My wife said I can definitely have a man cave, if that`s what I want to start calling the hall closet.
The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they`ll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you`re at it, too.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
I did not steal your drink. You abandoned it and I rescued it.
They`re teaching kids that abstinence is 100% more effective in preventing pregnancy than birth control, try telling that one to Jesus`s mother!
What if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.
I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don`t think they`re ugly or something.