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There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. Were this to be an actual emergency you’d be screwed, because no one takes this seriously.
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key
Marriage is like playing Monopoly. It starts out as fun, gets a little boring, then someone steals money from the bank and no one ever wins.
Saw a Mime doing his gig. I reached into my purse and pretended to throw money in his hat.
When I got divorced, we split the house. I got the outside....
I have 500 friends and only 499 Birthday wishes on facebook! I`ll remember that when it`s YOUR birthday #405!!!
I`m going to propose with a mood ring so I can easily see a measurement of how excited she really is.
Please, please don`t be a bitch to me. Because then I`ll have to be a bitch back and I can do it better than you.
Is it sexual harasment to say ho ho ho to a female coworker?
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now Googling how to extract a fork from bone without causing more damage.