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If your roommate never walked in on you naked, you`re not naked near enough.
The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.
I figured out the chemical composition of Holy Water. It`s H2OMG
God is creative... I mean look at me??
I walked into SeaWorld with a fishing pole once. I gotta tell ya, those security guards can really run.
Boobs are like model trains. They were originally for children but grown men always want to play with them.
Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would`ve just said "OH MY GOD, I`M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".
When I was a kid “The Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.
When someone wants to talk behind your back, FART!
If Shakespeare is correct and "all the world is a stage" then I seriously would like to be in control of that trap door.
Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.
If the cupcake has some green sprinkles on it, it`s a vegetable, right?
There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.
I just googled, "understanding women," the computer crashed.