Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
I purposely bought the same grill my neighbor has, so every time it needs to be cleaned, I just switch them at night.
Times change When I was a kid, werewolves and vampires were very scary. Now everyone wants to have sex with them
Some people wouldn`t understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
When people tell me "you`re going to regret that in the morning" I sleep in until noon because I`m a problem solver
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!
why would you go outside? that`s where bugs live
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
I am taking a shot for every “like” I get on this status. Then again, I’m taking shots whether you bastards like it or not.
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
Digging through a box in the closet and I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost 2 years ago.
If we’re not supposed to eat late, then why is there a light in the fridge?
If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."