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Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket, you`re proably not gonna win, but you`re sure as hell gonna try!
I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40 years and still can’t conjugate verbs.
Party like you will never be invited to another!
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you`re gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven`t pooped it out yet ... Really scared now!
I`m a very modest person, mostly because I`m awesome.
I was chasing my dreams, but I tripped over reality and busted my head on the truth.
If you put a "Student Driver" sign on top of your car, Nobody will ever suspect you of drunk driving.
Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
No matter where you live, there’s always 1 light switch that doesn’t do anything.
Having plans sounds great until you realize you have to put on clothes and actually leave the house.
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.