Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
If I pay $30 for a haunted house I better die.
People that say “money doesn’t buy happiness” obviously have never been divorced.
You make me have filthy thoughts, and for that I thank you...
I`m not an asshole, I`m just the only one who has the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
What if I am sexy and I don`t know it?
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, “I’m not crazy!” and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
Job interview tip: repeatedly ask if you`re under oath
A child`s purpose is to help their parents relearn the states and capitals.
Coffee eyedrops! Another million dollar idea.
Sidenote #2: Always have your middle finger ready on standby.
I hate it when I open Facebook and miss a week of work.