Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
apparently telling my girlfriend her acuracy is as high as a magic 8 ball wasn`t a good idea.
What is the difference between a Snow-man & a Snow-lady? Snowballs!
That awkward moment when you open a fortune cookie and all you get is some vague, cryptic statement that`s not even a fortune.
My kids are always accusing me of having a "favorite child" which is ridiculous because I don`t really like any of them.
Facebook Poking Hours: Mon-Friday 7am-10pm Sat 12-11pm Sun Closed
Didn`t leave home today. It was too peopley out there.
It is amazing how quickly kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, dishwasher, or vacuum cleaner.
Sorry I`m late, I didnt want to come
Why does no one ever talk about where a bear pees?
Big shout-out to slugs for doing everything a snail does but without a helmet.
I really like what you`ve done with your crazy.