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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
You say `pervert with a telescope` ... I say `biological astronomer`.
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
Snoring is just God`s way of ensuring women hate their husbands while they sleep too.
I have two feelings, it`s either "I`m hungry" or "I shouldn`t have eaten this much"
Every time I see a safety warning on a product I can`t help think to myself how natural selection has failed us once again...
They should put Prince on the $20 bill and call it $19.99... It`s "The bill formerly known as a twenty."
What are nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What are nuts on the chest? Chestnuts. What are nuts against a chin? Blow job.
I don’t think girls realize how handsome my mom says I am.
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
Time travel means never having to say you`re sorry...
Shot my first turkey today...scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome!
The moment when someone says a word and everyone laughs, including you and then someone goes, "Do you know what that means?" and you go "No, not really."
Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.
Good thing I`m judged on my actions and not my thoughts.