Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This liquid diet crap is a scam. I`ve been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I`m still fat.
I wish I could write `` I Miss You `` on a rock and throw it at your face, so you can know how much it HURTS to miss you
The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry’s in the oven. I’m going to bed.
When I was six, my dad threw me into the pool thinking I would instantly learn to swim. I probably would if it had water in it.
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
If "Cops" has taught me anything it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces, they`re nothing but trouble...
If booze isn`t the answer, then your question sucks.
There should be a mercy rule for how many pics a girl can upload from her vacation.
Several years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
Reincarnation is my only hope.