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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
It takes a brave man to admit when his wife is wrong .
Golf, except there`s no balls or clubs or anything, and you just drive around in a cart and drink.
People who say 45 minutes past the hour must be the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 month olds
Fun: text a friend "Are you alone right now?" They go "Yes." Then u text back LOL
The best things in life can`t be seen or touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
Good things come to those who wait ... Which explains why I`m always late.
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
a walk in the woods helps me to relax and release tension the fact that I`m dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
My friend David had his ID stolen yesterday. We just call him Dav now
Losing weight is not working for me, so I`m concentrating on getting taller.