Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
Apparently "I`ll break your god damn legs" isn`t the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway.
If I had the money I`d hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
I always honk when I drive by homeless guys sleeping, just in case they overslept for a meeting
My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funeral.
Besides tweeting during this job interview, what would you say is your biggest weakness?
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
I made a New Years Resolution to gain 20 lbs, so I can relish in the sense of accomplishment and success!
I hope you all have a prosperous New Year ... I may have to borrow money.
If God is a woman then how do you explain: 1) Spiders 2) Shoes you can`t afford 3) Periods 4) Men
Thoughts of you make my demons nervous.
If anyone has any terrible ideas, I`ve historically been very open to them.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
When someone walks away from me shaking their head, I totally agree.
Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I`m a valued customer at several grocery stores.