Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.
At my age I can no longer function without my glasses. Especially when they`re empty.
Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
I have many thoughts. I just can´t remember any of them.
FACT: If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
Saying "I`m offended" is basically telling the world you can`t control your own emotions so everyone else should do it for you.
As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: "I`m going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."
A golden rule to live by: Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics!
Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
It should be socially acceptable to end any boring conversation by shouting "UNSUBSCRIBE!"
Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere
I wish there was a way to find out how many boners you’ve caused in a lifetime, I wanna check my stats.
Fun thing to do #48: Spice up your food delivery order by ending the call with "And NO cops!"
If we all had to wear a warning label, what would yours say?