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So a year ago today I asked a really beautiful friend out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
I`m having fruit salad for dinner, well, it`s mostly grapes...crushed grapes ...ok, it`s wine, I`m having wine!
ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.
I`m starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
I get you, anti-evolution people. I`m too lazy to learn science too.
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
If you can read this, you`re not having sex either.
Yea, there is no "I" in team... but there sure is "ME".
The hardest thing about my juice cleanse is trying to juice Snickers
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can`t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
Violence is never the answer. Unless the question is `What is never the answer?`
It truly bothers me how many people would marry someone just for their money. Because I`m trying to do that & you`re lowering my chances.
FOR SALE: P90X® home fitness kit, still in box, $50 or will trade for king size Snickers