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If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years. Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer
I drink to make other people interesting
Smooth move.........ExLax
FYI: The signs that say "Falling Rocks"....I tried it.....it doesn`t.
Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too
I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic just saves so much time.
thinks that decaffeinated coffee is just useless brown water.
Sometimes I meow back at cats.
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
The only complaint I have about being married is being married.
I fell asleep with infomercials playing on the TV.... I woke up with a strange desire to do P90X with a Shake Weight while in my Snuggie
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
Exercise can add years to your life. For example, I just ran 2 miles and I now feel like I`m 82.
Life is not like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow.
Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end.