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I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I`m roofing.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Still waiting for the day I can illegally download groceries
I never thought I`d be one of those people that hit the gym early in the morning ... I was right!
Iβm not shy. Iβm just holding back my awesomeness so I donβt intimidate you.
If you replace the "W" in "where" "what" and "when" with "T" you get answers to the questions.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, βWho ate my kale?β
There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!
Some mornings I feel like leaving my coffee until its cold enough that I can just pour it directly into my eyes.
If you trip and are about to fall on the ground yell "He`s got a gun!" and then you`ll look like a cool hero.
If it weren`t for marriage,,, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
I am sweet, lovable, kind, shy, and innocent ... Oh, for heaven`s sake! Stop laughing!
Just burned 3 calories typing this with my thumb muscles. #fitness
Best part of living alone...clothing optional ;)