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There are no winners the day following a green beer, corned beef, and cabbage binge.
I don`t think I could love any person as much as I love BACON... Mmmmm Bacon...
I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
You`d think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won`t
Imagine how bad it would be if everyone could hear what you were thinking.
Hell yes, I would love to get stoned to death. Wait, rocks?! What rocks?
Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Fashion is what you call hideous clothes that are really expensive
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
I hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we haven`t thought about in a while ... demons."
Check this one out.........1
I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
Key to a Happy Life: Get a job where people ask, “You actually get paid for doing this?”
I failed my driver`s test. For the question "What do you do at a Red Light?" I said "Text and check Facebook."