Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nothing is more dangerous than a woman “gathering her thoughts”.
Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring.
Happy Wednesday 2014 Everyone!
Don´t worry ... It only seems kinky the first time.
OMG! I just discovered that if I align them JUST right, that I can make your boobs stand straight up (just like the broom trick)! Message me for an appointment! ;)
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
Not to brag but my bank says I have an outstanding balance.
I don`t always get to drink free beer... But I just happen to know my neighbor went to the night shift, and I saw him filling his fridge today.
Laughter is not the best medicine. Laughter with large amounts of alcohol & wild crazy monkey sex - now that`s the best medicine.
I just came online to check the weather. That was 12 years ago.
I like to stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.
I would`ve thrown a coin in the water fountain and wished for all the money in it, but I just waited `til it was dark instead.
Requesting a table in the “Hot Waitress” section should be socially acceptable.
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.
It`s 2013. With all the hormones in food and advances in medical technology, why are there still girls with less than C cup boobs?