Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Bored? Update your Facebook to “in a relationship” with someone you’ve never met just to see if they’ll confirm.
Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
Teleportation seems like an awesome idea until the creepy guy from down the street is suddenly washing your back in the shower.
How could a man who is covered in tattoos be afraid of commitment?
Lady`s if you want guys to look at your face instead of your chest ... eat a banana.
My dog’s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I’d like it to be.
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
I`m just looking for a reason not to drink
Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming... 1. Whenever you`re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you`re right, shut up.
Getting old sucks. I use to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I feel more like a bounced check.
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
I will admit, my statuses sound a bit different when read aloud by the prosecuting attorney.