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Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
Coffee is gods way of saying "go ahead get trashed on a weeknight, I`ve got your back"
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
I still water my dead plants every 3 months. Just in case...
It`s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
You can`t fight Destiny. Because if you try to fight Destiny, then you have to fight the bouncers and the rest of the strippers too...
I love salad! Just wish it had the taste and texture of pizza.
You can stay, but your clothes must go.
times new roman walks into a bar. "sorry, we don`t serve your type."
I wear a ski mask to bed so if there`s a home invasion the intruder will think I`m part of the team.
i wonder if fish get thirsty .
I was about to do something awesome, again, but I told myself “Enough is enough, that’s plenty of awesome for one day”
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
Thank you, true crime show, for saying that was a reenactment. I was pretty upset your camera person didn`t stop that murder.
Common Sense is so rare, it should be classified as a super power.