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You can`t fix STUPID, but you can Numb it with a 2x4.
I like how adding a little OJ to a glass of champagne says “I’m classy” instead of “It’s nine in the morning and I have a drinking problem.”
really vry funny
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
I`ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn`t need my assistance, so I`m going back to bed.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I don`t have a drinking problem. If anything, I`m TOO good at it.
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME is not a good thing to say to your boss.
I went to see the doctor today for my annual check-up. The good news is the he says I`m healthy as a horse. The bad news is he uses large farm animals to
My ex said he would die for me. All I`m saying is, it was his suggestion.
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
They say you can tell how someone has sex by how they dance…. So ladies be prepared for a lot of counting and clapping.