Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Women don`t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think.
Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you´ll have to catch up.
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE: Oh... I have nothing to say, I just crave the spotlight.
Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, who the F#%K are you?
I don`t get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There`s never any left when he comes home.
"Safely remove USB." Who does that?
Last night I meant to tell my kids "Good night, I love you", but it came out as "Thank god you go back to school on Thursday because this is bulls**t."
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem 99% demons.
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
I like calling the Psychic Hotline and asking them what I`m wearing.
I`ve accidentally swallowed a load of scrabble pieces.........My next poop could spell trouble.
AWESOME!
Apparently the ``All you can eat buffet`` isn`t a challenge ...
Remember, life isn`t about accumulating stuff. It`s about making people insanely jealous of your stuff.