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Your life must really suck when no one even likes the catfish version of you.
Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
I`ve been having really bad headaches lately. The doctor said they were all in my head.
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home ... right?
How big does a cupcake have to be before it`s just a cake?
Nobody notices your pain, your happiness, your sadness, your state of mind. But everyone notices it when you fart in public
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
why waste your brain cells to think of a comment when you can just like someone else`s?
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
Why does no one ever talk about where a bear pees?
When one door closes another one opens. Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that’s how doors work.
Shaving your head is the "You can`t fire me because i quit" approach to male pattern baldness.
Dear Cashier, you should stop giving me attitude and acting like you`re job is so complicated and stressful....Self-Checkout has proven that pretty much Anyone can do your job.