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When`s it gonna be the 4th of July? I feel like blowin somethin` up and not gettin` arrested.
Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
I never make stupid mistakes ... only very clever ones
You`d think Pizza Hut would be able to upgrade to a house by now.
They say women only use 10% of their anger
I just saved a ton of $ on Christmas presents by discussing politics on FB.
If your that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much shit to carry.
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
The one thing you can always count on is your fingers.
When will they start calling marijuana dispenseries grass stations?
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I`ve never been so mad that I pee`d myself.