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Knowing sign language is a handy skill when it comes to identifying schizophrenics at famous people`s funerals.
Having a favorite homeless person is weird, right?
Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet.
There`s no mirrors in this self checkout?!?
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
If you get a new job before you quit your old one, it`s considered responsible. But if you do that with your gf, it`s called "cheating."
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
You can always count on me to feel you up when you`re feeling down
I really worried about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
I just ran a .003048K
My wife and I are pretty upset. It looks like someone broke in and surfed porn on my computer. They didn`t touch anything else, so that`s good.
Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds... Not funny, grow up.
If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me.