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If you are hotter than me, wouldn’t that make me cooler than you.
The high cost of livin ain`t nothin like the cost of livin high
How about putting that screaming kid on vibrate
My cat’s gonna be homeless unless he comes up with something funny to post on YouTube.
If these people don’t start giving better advice, I’m no longer going to allow them in my head.
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
Blood moon, shooting stars....I gotta move to a safer galaxy
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
Proposing to a woman isn`t like choosing a life-long business partner. It`s more like hiring your own boss.
I hate driving so much that I even ring for taxis on grand theft auto.
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the b!tch they claim I am.
Let’s be the generation that stops putting things in our butts and having to go to the emergency room to get them taken out, shall we?
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
People go on and on about the length of Subway`s sandwiches but how come nobody talks about their girth?
Remember....... Its not drinking alone if you`re on Facebook ;)