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I spend most of my money on beer and cigarettes.. The rest I just waste.
Caller ID should be more detailed~ "Wants Help Moving" "Going to Whine" "Will Ask to Borrow Money"
If I had the money I`d hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
Anyone says their wedding day was the best day of their lives has obviously never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine
No matter how little I do in a day. I always feel like I could have done less.
My cardio is shopping.
Life is so unfair, why do we always want what we don`t have? For example, right now I want tacos
What do crickets hear when they have an awkward silence?
Relationship Status: ( ) Single ( ) In a Relationship ( ) Married ( ) Engaged ( ) Divorced (X) Waiting for a miracle
We look like we are being productive, but really, we are just talking sh!t about co-workers and how drunk we got last weekend.
We get it poets: things are like other things
CANT TOUCH THIS!! Na na na na.
Everyone’s beautiful on the inside. Some people just need a few good stab holes to let that beauty out.
Relationship Status: Very relieved socks can`t get pregnant.
Thank God I still have a few days left to achieve my goal of “going to the gym in 2014.”