Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
Got a problem with me? I’m pretty sure a status on Facebook won’t fix it.
Sex with human, ok. Sex with cow, not ok. Grabbing cow titty, ok. Grabbing Karen in accounting`s titty, not ok. Apparently.
Just once I would like to read a warning label that says "May cause permanent weight loss, remove wrinkles, and increase energy."
I just got off the couch and I think I accidentally did yoga or some $hit.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
my ex-girlfriend is a famous porn star. But would she be pissed if she found out.
Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers.
I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it though.
Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don’t wanna have to explain why I’m in your ‘Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am.
my doctor says I have the body of a 20 year old, the mind of a 30 year old and the wisdom of a someone twice my age, to which my husband asked " What did he say about your fat ass?" I said to my husband, "Oh , the doctor didn`t say anything about you dear!".
Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he’ll probably be like, “Hey, remember when you used to just give me fish?”
I`m starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.
I hope my liquor store is having an after Christmas sale!!
My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.