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My girlfriend thinks I`m a stalker. . . . well. . . she`s not exactly my girlfriend yet.
I posted one little joke claiming to have won the lottery and Facebook finds me 1,347 new possible relatives.
Should all acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind, should all acquaintance be forgot and somebody refill my wine.
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
Dear IRS…I would like an itemized receipt showing me exactly how every one of my tax dollars is being spent. Thanks.
The best part about being an adult is, nobody can tell you, you can`t have ice cream for breakfast.
1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.
I saw a comedian one time who did nothing but make geography puns. talk abbottabad act.
I don’t care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.
"Huh?" (my thought for the day)
AWESOME!
Technically, every picture is a before picture.