Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Kinda bummed that every Christmas for the last 12 years, I`ve been way too drunk to remember all the good times and the laughter we shared. Well, I leaned my lesson. It`s time to get my act together for the family. This Christmas, I`m hiring a cameraman.
This Crazy Weather Makes Me Want To Masturbate Furiously!!!
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
You should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
I always walk through my office with a stern look on my face and a toilet plunger to avoid conversations.
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
I look so young for my rage.
Due to Global Warming Santa will be giving out Solar Panels to all the naughty kids this year!
Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
Every selfie you post should come stamped with a number like a limited edition print. "Attempt 7 of 25".
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
The Olympians stories are amazing! The Ukrainian whose family was killed, the Korean who escaped slavery, the American who never had wifi.
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name "fire place"