Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If my calculations are correct then someone else did them for me.
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
What does Miley Cyrus have for dinner on Christmas? Twerky :`)
I`m just a few smartphone apps away from never having to talk to anyone again.
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek
Don’t ask a girl where she wants to eat. Tell her to guess where you’re taking her to eat. Then take her to her first guess.
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
Marriage counseling - because sometimes your spouse needs to hear from a professional that they are being an a$$
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
The difference between your house smelling like delicious popcorn or burnt a$$ is around 24 seconds ..
People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.