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Are nap dates a thing? Because that`s something I can work with...
I don`t go to bars anymore, but I miss some things about it. So sometimes I wait outside my bathroom for 15 minutes when I`m dying to pee.
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
Was sitting, doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
I was visited by three spirits last night, Vodka, Rum And Gin. . .
...you ever ponder why that page was intentionally left blank?
Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 six times. It’s that easy.
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, can burn your a$$ tomorrow.
your status deserves a standing ovation but I`m lazy I`ll just click `like`
I don`t get why girls get so offended by sexist jokes..I think they are just ovary-acting. Seriously..
It`s all shits and giggles till someone giggles and shits
People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous
I always drink responsibility I make sure that someone is responsible for buying me drinks.
When you’re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.