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When we are small, our mom`s would use really small forks as spoons to feed us...But what about Chinese moms? Would they use toothpicks?
If sex is said to be the best exercise, than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there`s idea. . .
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
Can`t reach it. Don`t need it.
The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock at 6am is the fact that it’s my cellphone.
I regret buying that straight jacket now. I thought it would look good on me but I just couldn`t pull it off...
I have reliable inside information about Apple`s next product. I will not be able to afford it.
There are days when everything goes perfectly. . I wonder what those are like?
Just got legitimately excited when I remembered I can pay a person to drive a pizza to my house
People ask me why I don`t have any tattoos and I respond with, would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?
The only b word you should call a woman is beautiful. B!tches love to be called beautiful.
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.