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Making an effort in the last of 2014 to cut away distractions so I can spend more time with my iPhone.
ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.
Don`t under estimate me... unless you`re trying to guess how old I am or how much I weigh.
I just got off the couch and I think I accidentally did yoga or some $hit.
Some things are better left unsaid, but I`m probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway.
Please don’t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I’m awesome doesn’t mean I like you.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
"Polar bears can`t jump." - Black bears
I think even hospital gowns cover more than my insurance does...
My hand has never pumped so hard for a little squirt. Stupid empty soap bottle.
I hate when I explain how awesome I am to someone and they pretend to not be impressed.
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
I wish I had a job where I could punch stupid motherf*ckers in the face all day.
Back in my day it was called daydreaming…not ADHD.