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How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
If you say "I slept like a baby" in front of me, I`ll ALWAYS assume you woke up every 2 hours, pissed yourself and cried for your mommy.
After years of commercials, I still have no idea what a Go Daddy is
I don`t know if I should tip the bathroom attendant, or charge for letting him watch...
I’m bored enough to clean.
I don’t know what my neighbor’s name is and we’ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
Life Rule #17: Always hold out your hand when someone is counting money in front of you, ...just incase.
I wish I had the confidence of a male flight attendant
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in
You can tell a man`s age by how close their socks are to their knees.
Apparently you can not demand to be strip searched.
Like a good neighbor, stay over there
Lightning is like God`s way of saying "Get out of that tree you pervert!"