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It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
I`m running out of people I can tolerate!
How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
I don`t really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense ... Like a Bear at mile 3
so apparently there is no such thing as a St Patrick`s Santa and I`m not sure whose lap I just sat on at the mall.
My dad always used to say, "The sky`s the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
Pro Tip: If you`re on the bus, and wearing headphones, people can still hear you fart.
I hate mosquitoes, I mean I know Iām delicious but damn.
Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself.
If you see a girl or guy post pictures of their cat you know they`re single.
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.