Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This Polo shirt as two buttoning options: Uptight Golf prick or disco chest hairs.
that moment when autocorrect decides to ruin you and makes a text incredibly awkward.
I end a lot of my sentences with "just saying`, because saying, "you idiot" is considered offensive.
Why do medications always have side effects like `anal leakage` & `suicidal thoughts`? Why not `invisibility` or `spontaneous orgasms`?
If going to church has taught me anything, it is that Catholics hate unexpected pterodactyl impressions.
I`m not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB
The length of a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you´re on.
Please: No,No.No-More about how you think relationships should be: we`ve got it , Your Single,,- get off facebook and go take your own expert advise...
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
I have officially bought the first batch of Halloween candies that will not make it to Halloween.
The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.
I got a little package in the mail today. For some reason it just reminded me of my ex.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much sh!t to carry.
Beach people are fickle. One minute you`re the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they`re terrified of the Lord of Seagulls.
I love Costco. You don`t go there thinking you`re gonna buy a 12-pack of watermelons but you`ll probably leave with one.