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Bitches be trippin..... ok, maybe I pushed that one.
MISSED CONNECTION: I gave you the Heimlich maneuver on Maine St. You insisted you weren’t choking and put up a good fight.
If a cannibal is late to dinner do they give him the cold shoulder?
Can`t reach it. Don`t need it.
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you have tits. Simple as that
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
It`s been discovered that 1% of the population is allergic to Gluten. The other 99% are sick and tired of hearing about it......
I can`t wait to find my soul mate so I can start sleeping on the couch.
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions.
Why must I prove I`m me, if I`m callin to pay my bill. Do strangers call to pay my bills? If they do, then let them, you idiots!
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the clowns, freakshows and the bearded lady. Now... I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.
I don`t use cocaine, I just like the way it smells.